'He hid the a la carte menu': Who should pay on the first date

7 hours agoShareSaveAdd as preferred on Google Yasmin Rufo BBC Few topics divide opinion quite like who should pay on a first date. Ask a group of friends and you'll likely get a dozen different answers. Some insist the bill should always be split equally, others believe the person who sets up the date should pay and despite changing attitudes towards gender roles, many still see a man picking up the bill as a romantic gesture rather than an outdated tradition. With cocktails regularly topping £15, restaurant bills climbing and many keeping a close eye on their budgets, even a casual evening out can quickly become expensive. Adults across the UK spend more than £111 per month on dates and dating apps, equating to more than £1,300 per year, according to research from Barclays in 2025, For under 30s in particular, cost is a great barrier as over half of Gen Z adults feel the expense impacts their ability to go on dates. Jennifer Read-Dominguez Jennifer says dating apps have made romance feel increasingly transactional so she appreciates "a man who plans a date, opens doors and picks up the bill" Jennifer Read-Dominguez, a digital editor who is currently single, believes whoever asks for a first date should be prepared to pay for it. When his card failed, Jennifer ended up paying for the entire meal. "He said he'd pay me back, but he never did. I wouldn't want anyone to feel used." 'He hid the a la carte menu' One memorable date involved a recent divorcee who was determined to keep finances separate. The pair went to a buffet restaurant where diners were charged according to the number of food sticks they accumulated throughout the meal. "He spent the whole evening holding onto his sticks to make sure they didn't get mixed up with mine," she says. On another date, Yasmin says: "A man picked me up in his Porsche and I assumed we were going for drinks before dinner. If they ask me out, I'd go in expecting to pay my half." Jamie says having become more conscious about his finances in recent years, he's very upfront on a date about what he can and cannot afford. "If someone suggested somewhere expensive and it was outside my budget, I'd just be honest and suggest a different place." Three-course picnic He prefers a coffee and a walk for a first date "where you can actually get to know someone" rather than dinner which "can feel a bit like an interrogation".